I like Austria. It’s like Australia, only much more efficient syllabically.
They have better beer than us, a vastly prettier landscape (it is a country that lies predominately in the European Alps after all), and it has a culture that shames us for the colonial red-headed melanoma stricken step children that we are. A day in Vienna will shame any thinking Australian into quiet reflection on our own cultural inadequacies, but then a big chunk of the Aussie tourists here are too busy drinking vast quantities of mulled wine at the Christmas Markets and vomiting on the icy streets to notice the soul of the place. Hell, those tourists are probably cool with the darker parts of Austria’s history too, like when Hitler annexed the joint in 1938. Given most conservative Aussies are verging on neo Nazism these days anyway, they probably feel right at home with the dark underbelly of Austrian history.
Sorry, did I offend you? Here’s a tip, if you don’t think white supremacists like Andrew Bolt and Eric Abetz are a Nazis, you’re probably a Nazi yourself. You just haven’t bought the t-shirt yet. There was a period when we killed Nazis. Good times. We should do it again. It’s good for the soul.
The future teammates went at it hard. It was a stupendous race
Austria also has better racetracks than us. The Red Bull Ring is one such place. Even better, it’s in a place called Spielberg. It’s impossible to go to a place like that without thinking of all the movies that dude has made. So what would this race be like? Duel, perhaps? That would be fitting. Jaws maybe? What a movie. The greatest movie score ever, and consisted of only 2 notes. Genius. Or maybe this weekend would be more of a War Of The Worlds thing? Hell, as long as it’s didn’t end up like Gremlins, I was going to be happy.
The reason for my happiness was I was back in Europe. A sudden illness suffered by my psychotic sister required surgery, and my family demanded my presence back in Australia just in case she didn’t wake up from her emergency vasectomy, or whatever it was she was having. So I missed the last GP at Brno. Inconsiderate bitch. Always hated her. And she survived too, so it was a complete waste of time. I did try and watch the GP on TV and was going to write a piece for you as though I was actually at the race, even though I wasn’t. But I am a man of integrity, and I believe my loyal readers are far too smart to fall for such treachery. You would never accept a race report from someone who wasn’t even there. I owe you more than that, Dear Reader, so I informed that cranky bastard that runs the Motorcycle Alliance that I simply would not supply him copy for the Brno round, and he could shove his publicity and information requirements up his arse.
The prick docked my pay and cut $400 from my expense account, which forced me to shoplift my current bottle of The Macallan from a small bottle shop near the circuit. So much for morals. It gets you nowhere, kiddies. Don’t waste your life being good. Trust your Uncle Tug on that.
“There, there, Andrea. Do not cry. I will hold you”
As it happens, the Brno race wasn’t a bad one to miss. The first 3/4ths was pretty stagnant although it did liven up markedly in the last 5 laps, with Marc, Jorge, and Andrea going at it. But if I’m honest, I’d have been three parts to the wind in the media centre bar by then, so would likely have missed the end anyway, such was the boredom that would have been generated early on.
But Austria was a completely different barrel of monkeys. Well, same monkeys, different, more tasty barrel.
Zarco continued being average. But he looked good, and that’s important.
The lead up to the race had a bit of everything. Rossi was so pissed with Yamaha’s inability to deliver him a win they trotted out a suitably diminutive Japanese guy to issue a publicly apology. I shit you not. They literally apologised to their factory riders for making them look shit, which is odd, because for the first half of the year Zarco was doing that all by himself, and he didn’t apologise once. How inconsiderate of him. But now Zarco is also struggling, it is clearly all Yamaha’s fault, so Yamaha were sorry. Not because Maverick is going like a busted arse, because nobody much cares about him. But just as Valentino Rossi can sell lots of motorcycles for you when he’s riding one of your missiles and singing its praises, he can also sell a lot of bikes for other brands when he’s riding your bike and telling the world how crap it is. So let’s be frank. Yamaha’s apology was about getting Rossi to shut his whore mouth while Yamaha figures out what the hell they’ve done wrong with the M1. I reckon they have 2 rounds to get him back on the podium, or else.
The weekend offered up poor weather, so setup and tyre choice for the race was always going to be a bit of a lottery, and that added to the pre-race excitement. Zarco and Miller continued their disappointing form in the back half of the season, which for both of them follows what was a promising start to the year. The racing is much poorer for them not being at the pointy end. Pedrosa has also started taking a part pension on his impending retirement. Can’t say I blame him. Finishing the year without breaking more bones would be his number one goal right now. He doesn’t owe Honda a thing.
Maverick scored an apology from Yamaha. He’d prefer a faster bike.
The race turned out to be a belter. The three fast guys didn’t take too long to get away from the pack, and Marquez tried a move out of the Lorenzo playbook and attempted to beat his rivals into submission, with his main aim being to make Lorenzo cook his soft Michelins before the end of the race. He told me after the race he knew he wouldn’t be able to shake both Ducatis, but was confident he could cripple at least one of them before the end, meaning he only had to fight with one of them at the finish. He wanted to avoid what happened at Brno, where his battle with Lorenzo allowed Dovi to build a small but effective gap at the end. He wanted to only have one of them to deal with this time, giving him a better chance of winning.
His plan worked beautifully, with the exception that the wrong Ducati hung around to cause trouble. Marquez had planned on Lorenzo being the one to suffer, but it was Dovi who dropped away, having been caught behind Lorenzo mid-race, and he burned up his rear tyre in vain attempts to overtake. For his part, Lorenzo worked at being smooth, managing the gap to Marquez in front of him, and looking after his rubber so he could have a crack at the end. And have a crack he did.
Jack had an average outing, but his Brolly Girl was on point.
In a most un-Lorenzo like performance, he bashed fairings with Marquez for the last 5 or 6 laps. I remain convinced it is the best race he has ridden since his days in the support classes. He was brutally efficient, patient, and effective. It was Jorge’s day.
But that is only half the story.
The other half is brilliant, and it is why we are currently in a golden age of racing. Marquez didn’t have to fight for the win. He is chasing a championship, and even losing the race saw him increase his lead in the title race, as Rossi is his closest rival on that count and he was behind Marquez all race. It will now take an injury or a serious run of bad luck for Marquez to lose the championship. But that was also the case on Friday when they arrived. Finish every race from here on, and he wins. Money for jam.
These two were epic.
Marquez didn’t need to race Lorenzo. But he did it anyway, and that makes him glorious. Many champions would have settled for a safe 2nd, or even third. As long as the nearest championship rival Rossi was behind, it didn’t matter.
But Marc just isn’t wired that way. He had lots of reasons to try and win.
Firstly, he has a point to prove. Lorenzo will be sharing his garage next year, and he wants to beat the living shit out of him every chance he gets.
Secondly, this is a race, and races are for winning. As Casey Stoner once said, the best way to win Championships is to win races. Then the points will look after themselves.
Most importantly, he raced to win because “He is Marc”.
The Ducati team battle resumes, with Dovi taking the back seat. He’ll spend most of his time there until Petrucci takes Jorge’s place, then he might be top dog again.
That line, “He is Marc”, was used a number of times this weekend. Dovi told me after the race he tried to stay as close to the two leaders as he could, knowing there was a chance something silly would happen, simply because “he is Marc”. Dovi knew there would be no settling for a safe second for the Spaniard.
I asked Lorenzo at his traditional post race Venga Bus Man Party whether he was surprised Marquez came at him so hard in the last few laps. He just smiled at me. “But Jorge, he is well in front in the championship, and he nearly crashed multiple times trying to beat you?”
Lets see how long these two last as mates next year.
“Yes, Tug. But he is Marc.”
I then went and found the ever-smiling Marquez. I asked him why he risked it all near the end, potentially costing himself 20 points, just to win a race that wouldn’t have made much difference to the title hunt.
He looked at me quizzically.
“Because I am Marc.” He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. He simply cannot see that there is another way, besides winning. He is a racer. The best of racers.
Praise whatever gods you believe in that we have such a crazy glorious bastard ruling the motorcycle world right now. He is a once in a lifetime racer, and we are the better for it.